Tomorrow is Valentine's Day—the day of hearts, cupids, and romance. Let me take a moment to reflect on our relationship as a mother of four teenagers and how it has changed since we became parents.
And believe me, it hasn’t always been easy.
When the kids were little, our lives revolved around feedings, sleepless nights, and diapers. Those romantic evenings and long conversations were replaced by juggling bottles, pacifiers, and endless diaper changes.
In a few days, it will be that time again, Valentine's Day. The day of hearts, cupids and romance. But if I'm honest, Valentine's Day feels very different these days than it used to. As a mother of four teenagers, I look back on how our relationship has changed since we became parents. And believe me, it wasn't always easy.
When the kids were little, our lives revolved around feedings, sleepless nights, and diapers. Those romantic dinners and long conversations gave way to juggling bottles, pacifiers, and dirty diapers. Sometimes it felt like we were just parents, and not the couple who once fell in love. But you know what? Love really is in the little things.
The little moments
Back then, love was that tired smile at each other when we stood next to the crib at 3am. Or that cup of coffee that suddenly appeared in front of you after another night of interrupted sleep. A simple cuddle on the couch, while the baby was finally asleep, sometimes felt like the most romantic moment of the week.
We were tired, but we were also a team.
From Toddlers to Teenagers: New Challenges
Fast forward to now: four teenagers in the house. The diapers and bottles have been traded in for arguments about screen time, homework and nights out. And honestly? Sometimes I long for the simplicity of a crying baby that you could comfort with a hug. Now we have to deal with big emotions, disagreements and that typical teenage look that says: “Seriously, mom?”
But even in this phase, love continues to grow, even if it looks different. We learn together, we make mistakes, and we keep talking. Our conversations are now about future plans, dreams, and sometimes just about how tiring life can be with four teenagers in the house.
How Our Relationship Stood
Parenthood has tested our relationship, I dare say. There were times when we lost each other between the hustle and bustle of family and daily life. But what got us through? Keeping communication, being honest about our feelings, and most importantly: making time for us .
Not every (Valentine's) day was filled with flowers and chocolate. Sometimes it was just plopping down on the couch together after the kids were finally asleep. But it's those little moments that remind me why we do this together.
Love Asks for Growth
Now, as a mother of four teenagers, I see how important it is not to lose yourself and your relationship in parenting. Love requires knowing yourself, giving space for growth, and remaining open to connection—with yourself and with your partner.
Parenthood changes your relationship, but it doesn't have to drive you apart. In fact, it can bring you closer together as you face the challenges together.
For All Parents Out There
Whether you are just in the phase of sleepless nights or, like me, have entered the teenage years: you are doing great. Give yourself and each other that appreciation. Love does not have to be perfect. It is in the little things, the difficult moments and the victories that you share together.
And believe me, if I've learned anything in this journey from babies to teenagers, it's this: you grow together, if you just keep choosing each other.
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